Last night I dreamt
He beckons me back
Back into that toxic environment where I once lived

Like a fool who tries again to grab a scorching pan
With fresh blisters on his hand
I acquiesce

I cross the threshold and know at once I must flee
But cannot will myself to abandon them again
Despite the inevitable torment should I stay

I compromise with my internal conflict
Calmly sweep their floor
Then politely slip back out

Today I dream
We have the power to resist
Resist the pull to the harmful familiar

Like a child who hears words of comfort
And pretends not to know they are false
We have hope

In our optimism we ignore the peril
Reason that we must not abandon our duty to love them
Thus ceasing to love ourselves

I dream we will overcome
Calmly say our “No”
Then politely slip back out

This poem is one out of a long series of poems I have been writing about my dreams and nightmares. Sometimes our indelible traumas resurface years later in our subconscious dreamscapes, as this one did. Writing poems about them is one way I have been able to take ownership of my experiences, build resilience through creative processing, and share a meaningful message. My suffering is always more worthwhile when others can learn from it too, so I hope you find valuable encouragement in the second half of this poem.

SHUA WILMOT

Shua Wilmot is a writer and producer for Shagika Tales, a feminist art company based in Uganda, and a full-time Resident Director at Greenville University. He is passionate about community-building and striving to live life with integrity to universal values.